It's been a year and one month since you've been gone. Your death has definitely changed life for us, and we still mourn the absence of you every single day. As we slowly adapt to our new reality and our insane world, I miss your presence and your companionship so much. I miss your cooking, your ridiculousness, your work stories; I miss your laugh, your smile, even your little annoying ways that drove me crazy. I miss all of it. I miss your big, strong hugs, I'm sad that I'll never get to feel another one of those again. I miss hearing you practice the same riffs over and over on your guitar until you nailed it. I miss seeing you walk around the porch corner when you got home from work. I miss seeing your interactions with our daughter... she misses you so badly, I wish you knew just how important you are to her and how much she still needed you. I wish you would have seen it before you decided to walk into that garage that day. It simultaneously feels like you've been gone forever, and like you just left us yesterday. I know it will never go back to normal, but this new reality is pretty sad. I hate that you're gone. I remember how you'd always ask me, "Would you miss me if I died?" and I'd get annoyed because you asked that question too much, but I'd always give you the same answer... Yes. Of course I would. And it's still the same answer. Yes, I do. I miss you terribly.

Niki Maturi Sep 30 2020